In my last blog, Why We Self Criticize and What To Do About It, I raised a question about what makes it so difficult for us to extend the same compassion to ourselves that we give to others. So many times, after a client has disclosed a self-critical thought they have toward themselves (i.e. “I am unlovable” or “I am a bad parent”), I have asked them whether they would ever say that to anyone else. Typically people will emphatically say that they would never say such a nasty thing to someone else, yet they consistently have the thought about themselves day after day. Continue reading
depression
Why We Self-Criticize and What To Do About It
Kristin Neff, PhD has done a wonderful job of explaining the pieces of how we come to have compassion for others.
- We must first take notice that someone is suffering.
- We are moved by their suffering and have an internal response to it.
- Our response then is warmth, kindness, non-judgment, and desire to help end their pain.
How to Combat Your Inner Critic
A common goal for people coming to me for therapy is to have better self-esteem, more confidence, or just to not feel so down on themselves all the time. Continue reading
“I just don’t know what to do.”
“I just don’t know what to do”. This phrase has been uttered innumerable times in sessions with clients, usually accompanied by them hanging their head or looking at the floor. The statement typically follows some description of a feeling or situation in their life that is causing intense pain or anxiety, and does not seem to be improving. Seeing someone so dejected can be heart-wrenching and I think that most people then feel a pull to give an answer. To fix it.
Carolyn Bloye, PsyD 