“I feel so guilty when I have to say ‘no’ to someone.” I hear this sentence regularly in my work with my female clients. They sometimes then say they believe it is because they have been conditioned by society to be kind, compliant, and to never upset anyone. I believe this to be true. Yet, I think there’s more to it.
Codependency
“I just don’t know what to do.”
“I just don’t know what to do”. This phrase has been uttered innumerable times in sessions with clients, usually accompanied by them hanging their head or looking at the floor. The statement typically follows some description of a feeling or situation in their life that is causing intense pain or anxiety, and does not seem to be improving. Seeing someone so dejected can be heart-wrenching and I think that most people then feel a pull to give an answer. To fix it.
Carolyn Bloye, PsyD 